PENDULUMS

THE END IS NEAR!
&
EVERYTHING WILL BE TURNED INSIDE OUT!
Pendulum
Image
Downside to every up and down back and forth i suppose there is, i really think life should be more like a pendulum than like a rolleycoaster, going up and down is okay, if ya fly like i do but maintaining attitude is important or ya jest simply crash n the end. Life is only so long and if ya don’t make the right move ya jest go up an down, where as id rather move back and forth across da werld with the force of the pendulum, it makes me jest stay where I am, till the End. The end of what i’m not sure, but will be the end of my time soon enuff and well , as some lewk forward to it, cuz they make thier life or someone else makes their life miserable I cannot say I do , Look forward to it {Death} that is, I rather like my life, simply trying to survive, of course i would have liked my life better though if others i affiliated with and even learned to or instantly fell in love with, either way, if any of them would have been honorable to their WORLD. Hard thing to find in this world these days, someone whom can walk the walk of all they talk.
Nuff said really without making a life story outa it, but is a life story in a way.for many, not my cupa tea, betrayal that is. Hipocracy & Lies. Is the way for many whom Honor FEAR and live by the reality that all they do in life shall be done by a fear based reaction or reason, even if they cover it up with a reason they call Love? is jest a selfish form of the EGO {edging god out} of ones life to power over the holy spirits desires within. A war waged within by all that only those whom open thier eyes will evr be able to see anyhow, for i cannot impress upon another at all what or how they should see i guess, it jest is what it is. now i do not doubt that love is something that fear cannot kill, for it is, that and resentments and regret, are the 3 greatest killers of Love.
Maybe i said something above that is new, but don’t think so, so all i can say is i am tired of being and living alone because another wishes me to 😦 …that also is not my way anymore. The eyes up in heaven arrive when one pays attention to thier own creations, when they honor the ones they say they love. If from not above well, it comes frum somewhere and well, i know it is not always frum deep within. For i am jest a man and I am NOT ALL>I think I am…..or ever thought i was sumtimes , is jest the plight of ones life, especially in the years after 50 when ya see for sure by statistics, and everything else that is well, that life in this incarnation is over half over. For some are closer then others to their destiny and fate, which ends up being the same in the end DEATH…..DEATH OF THIS BODY ANYHOW!
Meanwhile, I myself would like to live what i have of my life left waking to something i want to wake to instead of something i do not want to anymore. Setting ur alarm to go to a new job that is never there for 3 years plus at 3 am well is LIKE STUPID……..I CAN ONLY WAVE MY HANDS IN THE AIR FOR SO LONG!….and say i’m there…….If i’m not wanted and jest a puppet on a string, well then i don’t need to be in that predicament now do i:( unless i choose….
HALLOWEED MONTH FOR ME WAS NOT GOOD THIS YEAR OR FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS…that will come to an end this year, merry christmas early i suppose, it is :(….Welp I won’t go find a new life cuz i only got one, but i can find new relationships and friends {MAYBE} to love that will not abuse my intelligence or soul repeatedly for year on end. All my life I have been a REACTOR to the SHIT they DISH OUT!…and seems like all my decisions come from the reactions from what and how i perceived the attacks on me and my character or intelligence.
Seems like thats a big lesson for this guy, is that ya can’t fix another human being if they do not want to be fixed, spent years of coun-souling men and women alike whom said they wanted help but inside deep inside truly didn’t was jest a pipe dream for them. They are the ones i see at meetings etc etc over and over and come back as a fail< Cuz they WENT OUt? out of thier minds is more like it if they were even a bit true to their own morals.
Can talk the talk but can’t walk the walk 😦
wELL, WHAT I WAITED FOR WAS A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE I GUESS I’LL NEVER GET TO HAVE IS ALL, MY WAITING FOR YEARS FOR nothing BUT AN invisible life & job!…FOR GOD SAKES NOW I AM RETIRED, THATS SUPPOSED TO BE MY LIFE NOT A JOB TO TRY TO LIVE LIFE.
What i’ve waited for well, became undone with every insult to me years ago, i suppose, i jest got to find a way to accept that I am not jest some one elses game in life anymore.
So, point is sorrow, fear, pain, are all realities in this life, but to live within those aspects of it out of choice is stupid aint it, we do have a choice, whether to be hostage to fear and or to embrace Love and run with it. But one can’t sit and wait in Limbo Year after year over another’s decisions to live in fear and denial and with neglectful intentions.etc etc….Will they evr lewk ya in the eye straight after years of created resentments i wunder? …where remorse and repentance are all but dissolved.into LOVE….
Point of this blog is …not to be a hippo-crite to urself or others it does not pay in the end, ur karma will catch u with ya one day, and well, can’t say u will really enjoy it all that much, unless u love the feelings u so put out to others etc etc..ya know what i mean i think…………of ut going to let urself get pushed to a place , make sure it makes sense!
Nevertheless,,,,My dad would freak if he listened to the musik i do or tried to read my werdz prolly would not make any sense to him, but i am in the mode of transition and will stand my ground by what i LOVE and what I like,,i know why i was born,,,,And well I love the IDEA OF THAT ALONE!…………………..
SO JEST BE URSELF TODAY STAND UR GROUND, NO MATTER IF SOMEONE ELSE IN UR LIFE IS NOT SOUND! LIVE FOR TODAY AS IF IT WAS THE LAST DAY OF UR LIFE ~ Even if ya got to jest get away ~ Do what it takes ~
ENJOY IT ER NOT IS UP TO YOU
IN THE END! DON’T BE A VICTIM TO THERS FEARS!
MAKES ONE FREIKING WANNA SCREAM!!!!!!!!
WHEN ABUSED BY WHAT OTHERS CALL LOVE 😦
ENCODED
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pendulum – Immersion (FULL ALBUM)
Tracklist:
00:00:01 Genesis
00:01:09 Salt In The Wounds
00:07:41 Watercolour
00:12:40 Set Me On Fire
00:17:32 Crush
00:21:35 Under The Waves
00:26:17 Immunize
00:30:47 The Island Pt.1 (Dawn)
00:36:07 The Island Pt.2 (Dusk)
00:40:13 Comprachicos
00:43:00 The Vulture
00:46:56 Witchcraft
00:51:02 Self Vs Self
00:55:42 The Fountain
01:00:18 Encoder
!
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