Yeas, well at timez i feel like a disabled worn out warrior…..an truly tired of fighting battles, with alcoholics and incompassionate people whom are all talk an jest hipocrytes to the holy spirit… so i wrote this one this eve….all the same….. jest another opinion of the Q take it er leave it…..
Fake it till ya make it
er ya don’t i guess…
lIVING ON dISABILITY!……WELL, SOUNDS EASY RIGHT, NOT,, when ya have a mortgage to pay and electric bill an internet etc etc etc , is not an easy thing to do, especially when ya are down an out by the disability itself….I work still, work a lot an hard really, but do it for myself, at my own house and for me, the werk i am talking bout is simple werk like doing the dishes er werking on me house,,,,jest attempting to get by another hour sometimes without the pain of someone knitting inside my back is a giant chore and fatiquing in itself.. 😦 PKD surely sucks if i must say 😦 is very pain full and causes one to be very depressed also a lot because of the limitations upon oneself an not being able to do simple things like even tying my shoelaces with out it being pain full…. so such as life with polysyctic kidney disease and the chronic fatigue syndrum that goes along with it, the body is busy deaLING WITH THE DISEASE and is overwhelmed to the point that it is fatiguing to keep a grip on daily things a lot….At least i can say i am alcohol free and have been since 1997 or i prolly would be dead this very day!
A heriditary diseasei do so hope they find a cure to before my kids and grandkids are diagnosed with it….i didnt’t even know i had this disease but always knew i had a chronic back ache didn’t know why till the scans when i crashed a snowmobile in 1997 ever since it has been getting progressively werse and my kidneys are like the size of a football now….each…yes each..an now the poly cysts have migrated also to the pancreas and the liver also, so time is well, either on my side or it is not, for me to accomplish a few goals i have for the rest of my life i do so have that i appreciate every day i do!..an 4 outa 5 days i arize very ill from this disease and do all i can to stay outa taking myself to the hospital every time it happens….
Being disabled means jest what it says,,,u are disabled to be able to function in a normal lifestyle and type of life without pain medication… 😦 sometimes it is hard enuff to jest get through the next hour to get on with whatevr it is i am attemptimg to accomplish. Not on no pity pot it jest is what it is!
I now have limitations i did not have before and evry day it seems as though the limitations are growing as fast as my kidneys are 😦 sorry to say :(… it is not reversing itself even though i have stabalized it with the healing energies and frequencies of the rife machine…..I have extended my days sure i have, but as a result there is pain to go along with it, but to me well is a lot better than dying….I have a grand desire to meet my estranged family and long lost son…etc etc.whom i haven’t been able to see since he was 6 due to circumstances beyond my control 😦 ..like my father before me i would rather not die without meeeting up and making ammends with that side of my family!
So today yes once again i have to “fake it till i make it” as they say to get through jest one more day…I have to put on that smile and wear that crown of thorns, no matter what, an try not to frown when i feel so damn down 😦 DIS ABILTY YES IT IS FER DA Q!….